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- A very demented, but brilliant individual, Dr. Franken Stein
Okay, right here, you've chosen to name your character after a character in another work of fiction (need I specify which?), and have clearly based this on it. I'd recommend changing your name and possibly some of the character right off the bat, just to avoid being too unoriginal. This isn't going to get through approval otherwise.
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- Stein Was born into a very wealthy family,His father a doctor Stein His little Assistance. At the age of 11 he turned a Dead Rat into a living zombie..for a few good seconds before its head exploded.
You don't specify how or why he brought a rat back from the dead. Was he a necromancer? Did he have interest in such forbidden topics? You mentioned his father; was he the motivation for becoming a necromancer?
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- He Kept trying and pursuing his dream of a Doctor and Scientist. At the age of 14 He killed his parents by 'Accident' During a failed Heart transaction on both of them.
So at 14, he somehow subdued his adult parents and tried to 'transact' their hearts, killing both of them. It's actually somewhat realistic that this procedure would fail, considering the setting is barely at a renaissance level of medical technology, and is not science fiction the way Frankenstein's setting was.
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- He put the body's in a create and shoved them in a pit. He Left his home in Talibar and walked.
After shoving his dead parents in a pit, he... walked. Where did he walk? How did he survive? Weren't authorities after him for being a mad doctor?
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- At the Age of 18 a mugger tortured him in a cellar. He had to get Stitches all over his body .
Where? How? Why? He got stitches all over his body? By whom? Did he sew them himself?
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- At the age of 19 he earned the nick name 'Franken Stein' His Real name Jackmier Stein. He adopted the name 'Franken' and used it as his real name instead of jackmier.
Why? Remember, in this setting, no one has read Frankenstein. There's no reason at all for him to have this nickname. You also haven't even mentioned his real name up to this point. Here's a tip - the real name should come first, before pretty much anything else in the biography.
The bio you've written here has left me more confused than informed about your character. You need to think more about it and make it clearer just who this guy is and what his motivations are.