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spit.respectable
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PostSubject: Derregard   Sun Aug 11, 2013 5:35 am


Name: Derregard
Race: Dverfar
Age: ???[Equivalent to a human's late 30s]
Occupation: Unemployed(Previously a Squad Leader in the Sanctimonian Army)
Alignment: Neutral Good
Physical Description: Dverfar | Strongly Built | Metallic Right Arm | Scar Across Left Eye | Old Vest w/ Shoulderpads | Black Balding Hair with Beard.

Skills:
Hand to hand combat: 4/10
Decent experience with hand to hand combat gives him an edge in hand-to-hand. (Note, Hand to Hand combat in this case means chance to hit, actually hurting the opponent is left to strength.)

Strength: L: 6/10  R:8/10
A strong body and a mechanical arm give Derregard some great strength, though his metal arm is stronger.

Bastard Sword combat: 6/10
The experience of a military veteran gives him some skill with a bastard sword, though he sold the only one he owned for food. (Again, this just means chance to hit)

Inventory:
40 Shillings
Metallic Right Arm(Anywhere better to list this?)
Vest with Leather Shoulderpads
Common Clothes

Item Stories(told from Derregard's perspective):
40 Shillings: "Tluin! That's really all I got left?"
Metallic Right Arm: "The War was a dangerous place, I was lucky to have a squad of good people and an expert on augments back at the old outpost."
Vest with Leather Shoulderpads: "It belonged to the old squad leader, his death changed things a lot."

Quests:
Find a Job fit for a soldier[In Progress]

Backstory In a Nutshell:
A soldier in the Dverfar army for the ---* war, he gained the position of Squad Captain after the old captain died. He gained great respect from everyone in his squad, and they even helped pay for the mechanical arm. Though after the loss of his arm Derregard became more violent against the enemy, using excessive force. Noone in his squad ever died though they began to come close to it. Derregard was discharged for Recklessness, and soon after a new assignment for squad leader managed to get most of his old comrades killed. He's traveled to Surna at this point, not much left, even had to sell his sword and armor.

Full Backstory(Told by Derregard):
Coming soon, but the Backstory in a Nutshell should be decent justification for now.

OOC Notes:
 


Last edited by spit.respectable on Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:29 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Dverfar Military veteran fixes just about every problem brought up as of now.)
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Atlas
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Sun Aug 11, 2013 5:43 am

Explain the mechanical arm a bit more, I'm not sure if its even possible to have one. It'd probably have to be enchanted to shit with some dark rituals mixed in, so yeah. I've just never heard of mechanical limbs anywhere on aeria
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spit.respectable
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Sun Aug 11, 2013 6:22 am

Atlas wrote:
Explain the mechanical arm a bit more, I'm not sure if its even possible to have one. It'd probably have to be enchanted to shit with some dark rituals mixed in, so yeah. I've just never heard of mechanical limbs anywhere on aeria
Dverfar page isn't up yet, though Pat's confirmed that Dverfar do graft metal into their skin, and can even replace their nervous system with gold.
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BooM
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Sun Aug 11, 2013 6:30 am

Not sure if there are any major wars that Sanctimonia would be engaged in recently, though they might have sent some men various places to help against the Blight in the Wastes, but I can't recall any major battles that Sanctimonia has been involved in recently.

As far as the mechanical arm: I am not completely sure if this is possible, though I do know that many dverfar implant themselves with various gems and metals to show status and the like.

Overall, looks like a nice character, but I think there needs to be a higher power to confirm these topics.
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Xeloras
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Sun Aug 11, 2013 6:44 am

Hi, oldfag here. I came up with a lot of stuff on the Dvergar/(Dverfar, tomato, tomato). Mechanical limbs aren't just possible, but very common in their culture. Their adjustments are usually more extensive than just a limb. It's very common that through alchemic processes Dvergar will replace their nervous systems with gold, to increase nerve function and magical affinity. Class is usually represented by how augmented the individual is.
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Atlas
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Sun Aug 11, 2013 7:25 am

The all mighty Xeloras has spoken
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noodle
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Sun Aug 11, 2013 7:27 am

Lol 'Metallic Right Arm' and in the picture its his left.
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spit.respectable
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Sun Aug 11, 2013 7:57 am

noodle wrote:
Lol 'Metallic Right Arm' and in the picture its his left.
The entire character is flipped from Jet(The character in the picture). Even to the point that his left eye is in fact scarred.


Xeloras wrote:
Class is usually represented by how augmented the individual is.
Xeloras wrote:
how augmented the individual is.
Xeloras wrote:
augmented


Also: Good to see you Xeloras.


Last edited by spit.respectable on Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:02 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : AUGMENTED)
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Dominator046
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Wed Aug 21, 2013 6:24 pm

I'm glad Xeloras cleared up what he did, and while I think the backstory may need a little work, but I do know from conversations with Pat that there are enough Dverfar out there that it is perhaps -improbable-, but not impossible. Hey, since when do any of us make -probable- character, eh?

I'm willing to give this an accept; you seem like a decent guy, you're not asking for anything obscene, and hopefully we'll see some good roleplay to toss you into. = )

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BooM
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Wed Aug 21, 2013 10:29 pm

I accept now that the character has been confirmed.
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wizered153
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Fri Aug 23, 2013 9:49 am

Meh, ok
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Atlas
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Fri Aug 23, 2013 12:37 pm

I would like to know how strong the metal arm is, (Could it block a warhammer? How well armoured is it? How strong is it compared to a human arm?)
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Aeria Roleplay
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Fri Aug 23, 2013 12:57 pm

Most Dver additions are made with precious metals, like gold, silver, et cetera, both for appearances and because certain precious metals act as great conduits for magic. These metals tend to be soft and not really good at taking blows.

The function and consistency of their augments can vary wildly, usually based on their A. Social status B. Financial Status C. Place in society. Soldiers would have different modifications than engineers, and from enchanters, and so on.

So it would depend on what he does. Unfortunately, I haven't read this yet - which I will.

Also, 'Tluin', to the extent which it exists in the lore, is a purely human phrase, on the western coasts of Sanctimonia.
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spit.respectable
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Fri Aug 23, 2013 1:35 pm

Aeria Roleplay wrote:
Most Dver additions are made with precious metals, like gold, silver, et cetera, both for appearances and because certain precious metals act as great conduits for magic. These metals tend to be soft and not really good at taking blows.

The function and consistency of their augments can vary wildly, usually based on their A. Social status B. Financial Status C. Place in society. Soldiers would have different modifications than engineers, and from enchanters, and so on.

So it would depend on what he does. Unfortunately, I haven't read this yet - which I will.
Derregard's a soldier, so I'd assume he'd have augments that are built more for being durable above all else. I doubt a military doctor would give him a jewel encrusted silver hand, he probably has some simple yet durable metal that works without too much hastle and can take a bit of a beating.
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:01 pm

spit.respectable wrote:
Aeria Roleplay wrote:
Most Dver additions are made with precious metals, like gold, silver, et cetera, both for appearances and because certain precious metals act as great conduits for magic. These metals tend to be soft and not really good at taking blows.

The function and consistency of their augments can vary wildly, usually based on their A. Social status B. Financial Status C. Place in society. Soldiers would have different modifications than engineers, and from enchanters, and so on.

So it would depend on what he does. Unfortunately, I haven't read this yet - which I will.
Derregard's a soldier, so I'd assume he'd have augments that are built more for being durable above all else. I doubt a military doctor would give him a jewel encrusted silver hand, he probably has some simple yet durable metal that works without too much hastle and can take a bit of a beating.
It also says he's a Sanctimonian soldier. Where would he have gotten the augment?The Sanctimonians don't have the capability.
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:19 pm

Aeria Roleplay wrote:
It also says he's a Sanctimonian soldier. Where would he have gotten the augment?The Sanctimonians don't have the capability.
spit.respectable wrote:

Item Stories(told from Derregard's perspective):
Metallic Right Arm: "The War was a dangerous place, I was lucky to have a squad of good people and a Dverfar Engineer back at the old outpost."
If there are problems with that he always could've served in a Dverfar army.
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:23 pm

It'd probably be better for that to be the case.
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:26 pm

Aeria Roleplay wrote:
It'd probably be better for that to be the case.
Makes a lot more sense as well considering the state of the Sanctimonian army. Changed
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PostSubject: Re: Derregard   Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:19 pm

After spending some time getting acquainted with this character on the server for the past few days, I had some minor concerns I thought needed addressing.

spit.respectable wrote:

Seeing this picture here is gravely concerning, because in my round-the-clock web searching and fact-checking for characters on this forum, I came across an animated cartoon that had a very similar picture. In fact, I would venture a guess that the two were identical. Worry not, I have already informed the proper authorities of this so-called "anime" stealing your unique character picture.

spit.respectable wrote:
Race: Dverfar

As I've established in a previous thread, the culturally appropriate term is "Dwarfish." Dverfar is a racial slur which has been coined by Pat out of his violent hatred for any group of people with large beards. This reminds Pat of his own developmentally challenged boy chin with peach fuzz and makes him very upset.

spit.respectable wrote:
Age: ???[Equivalent to a human's late 30s]

It is an unfortunate fact that long-term exposure to ale and the stress of near-constant pachyderm attacks can cause a dwarfish man (dwarfish have no female counterpart) to forget his own age. When this happens, a dwarfishdwarf will have his fellows attempt to guess at his age, drinking whole flagons of ale on wrong guesses (since no correct age is known, all guesses are assumed to be wrong).

spit.respectable wrote:
Physical Description: Dverfar | Strongly Built | Metallic Right Arm | Scar Across Left Eye | Old Vest w/ Shoulderpads | Black Balding Hair with Beard.

There are many errors and redundancies in this description. First and foremost, I have aready established Dverfar to be a horribly offensive racial slur employed only by subhumans (like Pat). If you were to change this to say "Dwarfish," that would be sufficient. All dwarfish are known to have beards, strong builds, and metallic right arms, so this can be safely removed from the description.

spit.respectable wrote:
Skills:
Hand to hand combat: 4/10
Decent experience with hand to hand combat gives him an edge in hand-to-hand. (Note, Hand to Hand combat in this case means chance to hit, actually hurting the opponent is left to strength.)

Strength: L: 6/10  R:8/10
A strong body and a mechanical arm give Derregard some great strength, though his metal arm is stronger.

Bastard Sword combat: 6/10
The experience of a military veteran gives him some skill with a bastard sword, though he sold the only one he owned for food. (Again, this just means chance to hit)

Scores here are taken from last year's dwarfish olympiad, and given by a panel of ~7 dwarfish judges (the actual count hovered around 15, but only 7 were deemed lucid enough). A 6/10 score in bastard sword combat is actually close to the all-time world record, as bastard swords can prove very deadly in combat and require expert technique to incapacitate.

spit.respectable wrote:
Item Stories(told from Derregard's perspective):
40 Shillings: "Tluin! That's really all I got left?"
Metallic Right Arm: "The War was a dangerous place, I was lucky to have a squad of good people and an expert on augments back at the old outpost."
Vest with Leather Shoulderpads: "It belonged to the old squad leader, his death changed things a lot."

Derregard carries on the dwarfish tradition of looting items off of dying comrades. He has also adopted Surna's unique, colorful, and ultimately uninspired colloquialisms.

spit.respectable wrote:
Quests:
Find a Job fit for a soldier[In Progress]

To me, this portion of the biography is entirely unclear. Who is this Job, and why would he need to be fit for a soldier? Unless Derregard's motives are entirely different from what I imagined - maybe he is here to find love?

spit.respectable wrote:
Backstory In a Nutshell:
A soldier in the Dverfar army for the ---* war, he gained the position of Squad Captain after the old captain died. He gained great respect from everyone in his squad, and they even helped pay for the mechanical arm. Though after the loss of his arm Derregard became more violent against the enemy, using excessive force. Noone in his squad ever died though they began to come close to it. Derregard was discharged for Recklessness, and soon after a new assignment for squad leader managed to get most of his old comrades killed. He's traveled to Surna at this point, not much left, even had to sell his sword and armor.

With over 10 million casualties on either side, the ---* war was among the most devastating in Aeria's history. The dwarfish fought this war in a great many squads captained by Squad Captains. General Recklessness saw fit to discharge numerous dwarfish soldiers for using excessive force against the enemy, because he didn't want anyone to get hurt.

spit.respectable wrote:
Full Backstory(Told by Derregard):
Coming soon, but the Backstory in a Nutshell should be decent justification for now.

My full response to this is coming soon, but the above will have to suffice.

spit.respectable wrote:
Tell me everything that's wrong with him, I'm fine with changing practically all of it.

Please change practically all of it.

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