Alchemy: Potions, Gases, and more

Potions are a thing.

They come in glass vials. Usually.

Some potions are illegal. Others you can throw. It's useful for turning people you don't like into a chickens and then rotisserie-cooking them. Great if you love to eat cock.

To use a potion, uncork it and tilt the container towards your food hole. Then swallow that delicious, creamy concoction.

After you're finished, load the cork into a corkgun. Fire it at Vorn's behind. Make fun of Pat. Then you're done.

Oh and there's a whole bunch of potions, with side-effects and doseage charts and shit, or something.

I think I put a list of illegal potions here. Just remember not to break the law and you won't be executed on site.


"I am the law."

Ruling the other possibilities out, this must have been where I had the list of grenades.

To use a grenade, pull the pin before you throw. And if the fuse is lit, it's too late to change your mind and put it back on your belt. Unless you're Pat, then it's actually encouraged.

There were a lot of grenades that caused sonicbooms and made everyone go on their period, but the best one was the Mega Mollusk Maker. The name alone killed some people. The rest became snails.

Ah yes, gases. Almost forgot.

The biggest source of gas in the world is Pat. Remember this if you are ever unfortunate enough to sit next to him.

Kain ranks a close second, given how gaseous most of his characters are. Kain Redwell was widely known to be able to fart the alphabet (strange, but par for the course with him). Alec Smith once farted so loud it shook an entire town. And then there's Cole Simmons, whose gas powered an entire kingdom for several years.

Right, I was supposed to be talking about alchemical gases, and not people's farts. That goes to show how far Olden has fallen. Or maybe just that I'm still 13 years old apparently.

Gases are toxic. Gases are dangerous. Gases EXPLODE.

Use your head (tucked behind your gasmask), and you'll make it through. Unless it's acid vapor, then you just throw up your hands and blame Pat for everything.

Major thanks to Xeloras, who helped with brainstorming and ideas. Credits to Fnox, some of whose lore I shamelessly stole. Anyone whose potion made it in will be credited in the above list. If I've left anyone out, please inform me, and I'll add the name to the credits.



Addendum 1/22/16: But really, you should be thanking me, because I did all of the hard work.

My greatest testament to my lack of a life

Wow.

Christoph wrote:

Wow.

^ This.

Yeah, this is the old alchemy page, and I had no idea where it went >.>

I love it. = )

Though... Witcher Imports could be renamed. Scilla's fire could use a flogging or two added for possession, also, according to Erik (Male 02), he's not satisfied with the grenade section, and may offer some material to improve upon it. I'm not the pyrotechnic (or well, not as much. I like my Alkali metals taht go boom with water), so I'll leave it to him.

Dominator046 wrote:

Witcher Imports could be renamed.

I would have to remove them to avoid copying the game. I settled with making them as different as possible but keeping their original names.

Dominator046 wrote:

Scilla's fire could use a flogging or two added for possession

I'll do that when I next update the list of illegal potions. There's no such thing as excessive flogging.

Dominator046 wrote:

According to Erik (Male 02), he's not satisfied with the grenade section, and may offer some material to improve upon it. I'm not the pyrotechnic (or well, not as much. I like my Alkali metals taht go boom with water), so I'll leave it to him.

I'm assuming by "Erik" you mean J. Jordan. I'll talk to him. I'm open to any potion ideas or suggestions for improvements.

J.Jordan, that he is known as on these forums. = )