HomeFAQRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Valkeri Syr

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Atlas
Vengaboy
avatar

Posts : 166
Join date : 2012-08-27
Age : 22

PostSubject: Valkeri Syr   Mon Oct 08, 2012 6:07 pm



Credit Goes to Boom For Pic

Appearance
Height:5'11
Skin Tone: Slightly Grey
Eye Color: Grey
Hair Color: Light Grey
Deity: Shar
Age: 94
Sired Age: 31

Facial Features

Slightly Sunken Face
Sharp Features
Closely Shaven
Shadowy Face

Clothing

Long Black Dress Coat- Decorated with silver trimming
Black Dress Pants
Well Cleaned Black Shoes
White Crisp Undershirt

Inventory

Steel Stilleto
Spoiler:
 
Rapier
Spoiler:
 
Bio:

Short Story

Spoiler:
 

Full Bio
Spoiler:
 


Attributes


Quote :
There is the infamous Vampire's Gaze, a powerful trait that allows any Vampire, upon making direct eye contact, to seduce, terrify, or confuse. Vampire's Gaze allows the Vampire to place powerful suggestions or vivid images in the victim's mind to achieve the desired effect, although the skill is greatly diminished should the victim know the truth about the Vampire's nature. There is Night's Embrace, which allows any Vampire to vanish from sight for a time at night; and Shroud of Lies, an ability that allows the Vampire to shield his or herself from the adverse affects of the sun for so long as they can maintain concentration
Journeyman Swordsman- With years of experience, undead strength and proper training as a child, Valkeri is able to defeat most men in a sword fight.


Last edited by Atlas on Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:01 am; edited 13 times in total (Reason for editing : Cause I can)
Back to top Go down
Beans
Scrub
avatar

Posts : 27
Join date : 2012-09-06
Age : 20
Location : America

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Mon Oct 08, 2012 11:48 pm

Obviously it is still heavily WIP. It seems nice. It sticks pretty close to the lore. I may even think about making one, not sure yet.
Back to top Go down
BooM
Archmage
avatar

Posts : 629
Join date : 2012-02-22
Age : 22
Location : Paradise City, Florida

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Tue Oct 09, 2012 1:16 am

I'm going to wait for the WIP to be lifted but my descission is HEAVILY leaning to no.
Back to top Go down
Munroe
Tryhard
avatar

Posts : 596
Join date : 2012-02-06

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Tue Oct 09, 2012 5:15 am

After speaking to Atlas at length about this character, I had hoped it would be a little more detailed. Keep working on this.

You could also get away with removing the "top secret goals" section. In fact, I think removing that would make the character page better overall.

_________________
Die standing.
Back to top Go down
Beans
Scrub
avatar

Posts : 27
Join date : 2012-09-06
Age : 20
Location : America

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Tue Oct 09, 2012 5:25 am

Munroe wrote:
After speaking to Atlas at length about this character, I had hoped it would be a little more detailed. Keep working on this.

You could also get away with removing the "top secret goals" section. In fact, I think removing that would make the character page better overall.

I completely agree and I really want to know how this character would interact with others. Yeah, he wants blood, but every Vampire does. Go into detail about how he acts with his prey and the sort. I know this is still WIP, but I am sure you can expound on more than what you have. Also, with his abilities, put more depth to them. I would think after reading the lore on the Vampires that he would have more going for him. Remember he is also rather young, keep that in mind. I would think that a Vampire at a young age would need to feed more and that possibly he would go into frenzy much more often, considering he is simply too young to realize the blood consumption that he would need. Plus, if he were a glutton, that would go more toward personality. I would believe from what I have roleplayed in the past that a young Vampire when feeding would consume a large amount of blood. Sometimes killing. But this is different. I could ask Pat if I could more in depth of the Vampires, such as clans.. and establish some knowledge on the younger and elder Vampires. Alright, I am done, if you guys want to shape up my knowledge be my guest. I don't take offense. :3
Back to top Go down
Munroe
Tryhard
avatar

Posts : 596
Join date : 2012-02-06

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Tue Oct 09, 2012 5:33 am

He isn't part of a "clan," unless the cabal of vampires in Jheran could be defined as such. I don't think he would have to feed more than once a day, but he probably wouldn't want to feed less often than that, or risk going into a frenzy. Don't worry too much about his abilities in frenzy, because that's an animalistic state of mind that will draw way too much attention and get him executed just like that thrope recently.

I would be interested to hear Pat's opinion, since he actually wrote the vampire lore.

_________________
Die standing.
Back to top Go down
Beans
Scrub
avatar

Posts : 27
Join date : 2012-09-06
Age : 20
Location : America

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Tue Oct 09, 2012 5:50 am

I wouldn't mess his lore up, I would probably add more about it. I believe age plays an important role in Vampires.
Back to top Go down
Atlas
Vengaboy
avatar

Posts : 166
Join date : 2012-08-27
Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Tue Oct 09, 2012 5:59 am

It was just a joke for the time, I wrote it at 3:30 in the morning, Im going to have a much longer bio and much more description on him, I just have my ideas down for the time
Back to top Go down
Atlas
Vengaboy
avatar

Posts : 166
Join date : 2012-08-27
Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:56 am

Part of the full bio added
Back to top Go down
BooM
Archmage
avatar

Posts : 629
Join date : 2012-02-22
Age : 22
Location : Paradise City, Florida

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Tue Oct 09, 2012 8:04 am

It's an interesting concept and I'm going to wait for the RP on the server to judge this character.
Back to top Go down
Munroe
Tryhard
avatar

Posts : 596
Join date : 2012-02-06

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Tue Oct 09, 2012 8:28 am

Much better. Like BooM said, though, I want to see how this is RPed.

_________________
Die standing.
Back to top Go down
Atlas
Vengaboy
avatar

Posts : 166
Join date : 2012-08-27
Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Wed Oct 10, 2012 7:10 am

If im missing any information, minus the two paragraphs, let me know and I will add it.
Back to top Go down
Venom OPS
Administrator
avatar

Posts : 504
Join date : 2012-08-17
Location : America

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Wed Oct 10, 2012 8:56 am

THIS FUCKING GIF ATLAS
I LOVE YOU

_________________
Back to top Go down
http://www.facebook.com/VenomOps
noodle
Monthly Bather
avatar

Posts : 334
Join date : 2012-06-09
Location : Surna, Sanctimonia

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Thu Oct 11, 2012 10:18 am

Ive seen Atlas' other vampire RP and I was impressed.
So, I think I will accept
Back to top Go down
BooM
Archmage
avatar

Posts : 629
Join date : 2012-02-22
Age : 22
Location : Paradise City, Florida

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Fri Oct 19, 2012 8:01 am

Bump and accept.
Back to top Go down
Atlas
Vengaboy
avatar

Posts : 166
Join date : 2012-08-27
Age : 22

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:39 pm

I just realized this never got accepted/ whatever
Back to top Go down
Black Banana Party
Giant Scrub
avatar

Posts : 63
Join date : 2012-08-31

PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   Sat Aug 24, 2013 7:05 pm

Atlas wrote:
I just realized this never got accepted/ whatever
This is finished?
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Valkeri Syr   

Back to top Go down
 
Valkeri Syr
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: Approval-
Jump to: