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 Ali'Ara M'Haaren [WIP]

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Toasters
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PostSubject: Ali'Ara M'Haaren [WIP]   Mon Oct 08, 2012 5:27 pm



Hand Drawn picture of Ali'Ara



Age: 29
Gender:Female
Race:Wood elf
Birthplace: In the eastern Forests of sanctimonia Near the mountains. North of Leyanara about 2 inches on the map
Deity: Kielm

Fighting style(s): Beast Tamer (Not sure what else to call it)

Family and Friends: Mother and Father [Relationship- Average]: Ali'Ara Has an Average relationship with her parents, She has the correct amount of respect and caring for them.

Klien: [Relationship: Closer than siblings] Even though Klien is a Fox this hasn't stopped Ali'Ara from Caring for him. Klien Helps her on her everyday Rounds and chores. Such as hunting and tracking. Aswell as Fighting believe it or not, She cares as much for Klien as a mother would her New-born child.

Biography: I'm going to be holding off on the Biography for now until I speak to Pat about Wood elf lore etcetera.

Skills: Hunters Senses: Her sense of hearing and sight is above average due to her history as a hunter.

Archery [Adept]:Ali'Ara/ Being the hunter she is, is skilled with a bow. She's been hunting for years and Experience does add up.

Remedy creation:[Average] Growing up in the woods, she learned to make Home made Remedies out of Medicinal Herbs found in the Woods.

Hand to hand [Average] : She doesen't really need hand to hand in her daily life. But it does come in handy.

Survival [Adept] : Spending the Entirety of her life in the woods. Ali'Ara, of course, Knows how to Survive in the woods, Being taught initially by her parents and learning the rest along the way



Inventory: Ali'Ara's Bow. A simple wooden bow with Engraved markings. No special characteristics.
(Refer to picture)

Pets:

Name: Klien
Special characteristics [If any?]: Becomes surrounded by a strange fire. Purpose- Attack. Usable /once/ a day. Lasts 30 seconds
Age: 3 years
Size: Average size
Species: Canine-Fox
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PhoenixRhapsody
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PostSubject: Re: Ali'Ara M'Haaren [WIP]   Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:14 am

Kielm is a dead god. It would make more sense for her to worship Cyus, a living god that represents adventure, discovery, and wealth than a dead deity. Just saying.

That species of fox is not called Canine-fox. In fact, there is no species called canine-fox. You mean to say that the genus is canis, but that still isn't accurate. Foxes fall into the genus volpina. If you want a species to use, just say the red fox, unless you want the actual species name in which case you would use Vulpes vulpes. This is most likely what you meant to say, I am guessing.

I don't know that a fox should be capable of catching fire for any set of time as normal animals are not capable of such things. The exception I can think of is some bastardized fox that had a fire elemental fused into its sacred field and that gives it powers, but I really don't see that happening. Having a plain pet fox is unique enough on its own that you probably don't need to add magic to the mix.

While I am okay with this character having practice with archery, I typically view the experience chart as being exponential instead of linear. Here is an example of what I mean:
Graph:
 
By the time a character has 2.5 years of practice in a particular skill, they will be considered a novice. Then after another 4 years they can be considered an amateur. 9 more years to adept and so on and so forth until you reach 600+ years of practice with a particular skill to be considered a grandmaster in that skill. This also assumes you have practiced regularly, something along the lines of twenty hours a week for fifty-two weeks a year. This is also the model used when you take out natural affinities for skills, like Annie Oakley had for shooting rifles in the late 1800s and early 1900s.

I would suggest taking down the name rank unless you plan on defining the exact limits of her archery abilities. An adept should be capable of a bullseye at a minimum of 20 yards if we are going to standardize the skill to the extent of giving a definition. If not, you might as well leave off the rank Adept and say that she can hit a target X out of Y times at Z yards. This really does help someone understand how they will be shooting and whether your ability to hit a target every time lines up with the definition you give in a character app.

That is my two cents (dollars) on those aspects of the character. I will give more later possibly. This should by no means be considered the final critiquing I will make on the app.
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Munroe
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PostSubject: Re: Ali'Ara M'Haaren [WIP]   Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:22 am

Rather than worshiping Kielm, she should worship the Vaettir, nature spirits of Kielm. This is fitting to her origins as a "wild elf." The fox might have been gifted with its ability by one of these Vaettir.

Anyways, I would recommend talking to Pat when you get the chance, he can help you correct and finish the rest of this.

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Pat
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PostSubject: Re: Ali'Ara M'Haaren [WIP]   Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:59 am

Munroe wrote:
Rather than worshiping Kielm, she should worship the Vaettir, nature spirits of Kielm. This is fitting to her origins as a "wild elf." The fox might have been gifted with its ability by one of these Vaettir.

Anyways, I would recommend talking to Pat when you get the chance, he can help you correct and finish the rest of this.

Munroe and Phoenix are right. While Kielm is acknowledged and respected in some places, he's not really worshiped. He's thought of as a dead god. However, in many places such as Estivon / Nuihadhas, where the Wild Elves live, the Vaettir are worshiped heavily, within a sort of pantheistic nature deification. They worship Vaettir spirits locally - the spirit of this or that forest or river - while, nationally, they worship a strange and secretive deity, the Strider of the Forests.

The World of Aeria wrote:

The Tymafar, or Wild Elves, are the inhabitants of the lushly forested land of Estivon, dubbed Nuihadhas in the Álfar tongue. Once the land of magnificent cities of white stone, the greatest Province of the Álfar Empire, the devastation wrought by the God Wars has driven the native populace to a tribal state. Living amongst the ruins and upon the Great Oaks, these Wild Elves live apart from the civilized world, consumed by great revelry and worship of the Vaettir, spirits of nature. Though these Elves are largely peaceful, the forest is a labyrinthine, enrapturing place, filled with many strange creatures who seek to lead travelers to their deaths. When threatened, invaders find themselves at war with the forest itself, and the suddenly carnivorous, bestial Tymafar. Little is known about a mysterious gold-clad figure that haunts the forest, though many dub him a protector God; the Tymafar themselves refuse to speak of him to outsiders. Since the dissolution of the Talibarian Empire, Nuihadhas has fallen under Dominion control. Little is known about the state of their occupation.
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PostSubject: Re: Ali'Ara M'Haaren [WIP]   Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:34 pm

Still working on this toasters?

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