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 Grimthor Stormwrath

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Dominator046
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bd863
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PostSubject: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyThu Oct 04, 2012 10:25 am

Grimthor Stormwrath Grimthor

Grimthor Stormwrath
Occupation: Hired Sword
Race: Human, Lycanthrope
Age: 27
Languages: Common
Height:6'2"
Eye Color: Dark Blue
Body Type: Muscular Build
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Birthplace: Sanctimonia

_

Inventory:

Armor&Weapons:
x1 Irom Meduim Helmet
x1 Iron Plate Body
x1 Iron Plate legs
Leather Gloves
x1 Sharpened Steel Longsword
x1 Round Wooden Shield
Leather Boots

Other:
45 Shillings For Spending
x1 Bandage

_
Skills:
-Experienced in Sword and Shield combat
-Blocks Arrows (When using shield)
-Decreased Stamina (When armor is on)
-Transformation- Lycanthrope (Basicly Werewolf that can 'transform' at will) While in 'Wolf Form' greatly increased strength and agility.


Grimthor Stormwrath Photohdn
-Figure I'd add a picture for his lycan form.
__

Bio:

Grimthor lived in the Capital of Sanctimonia. He was home schooled by his mother, his father served as a Guard in the kingdom. Everyday when his father came home after guard duty he would teach various things about sword combat. After years of practice at a you age he became proficient with a sword at the age of eleven. At the age of eight-teen Grimthor served as a guard in the kingdom. He was injured while fighting off a small crowd of bandits entering the city with a few other guards. After the injury Grimthor was left with a scar and a puncture wound that completely healed in three months after the injury. After he was healed and back up on his feet he dropped his guard duty occupation and set out for Sanctimonia's outskirts.

In the outskirts of Sanctimonia he worked as a sword for hire and escorted the wealthy for a few years. At the age of twenty a wealthy merchant named Joseph Tardak hired him as a bodyguard for life. Grimthor, now at the age of twenty-three guarding Joseph's life in return for a small pay here and there was equipped with Iron armor and a fine steel sword. Joseph and Grimthor became well know around Sanctimonia's trading posts on the outskirts of the kingdom. Joseph thought expanding his business to the underground black market in Sanctimonia's sewer system.

Joseph traded most of his rare gems and common hides for a few potions. Little did Joseph know one of them were poisoned. Joseph decided to test one of the potions himself. As Grimthor watched Joseph drink the potion he was shocked. Joseph's face turned green soon after he fell knocking all the other potions off his stall and hit the floor dead. Grimthor properly buried him in a nearby cemetery. After Joseph died and was buried Grimthor sold what remained of the stall. With the little money he made he pocketed it and became a sword for hire once again. In Sanctimonia's sewer system he guarded the trader's stalls from time to time. He became terribly depressed due to the death of his friend.

At the age of twenty-four no longer employed living off the land spending his nights under the stars. Grimthor awoke to a clashing sound. He stood up seeing a guard fighting off a large goblin. Grimthor unsheathed his sword and went running to the guard's aid. The guard swung his sword down on the goblin's shoulder blood spurring out. Soon after Grimthor plunged the sword into the goblin's chest. Grimthor kicked the corpse off the sword watching it fall to the ground. As Grimthor looked down he saw the guard on his kneels crouched over blood dripping from the gash of the goblin's rusty blade. Grimthor crouched down examining the guard's wound. As he looked at it he winced, the gas was deep enough to see bone. He quickly wrapped a bandage around the man's chest in an attempt to stop the bleeding. He heaved the wounded guard over his shoulder with a great struggle, leaving his animal hide sleeping bag where it was when awoken. Grimthor asked the guard where he was stationed. The guard told him the location of camp the was stationed in. Soon he arrived at the camp with the wounded guard still over his shoulder, exhausted.

As he walked into the camp he saw many dead guards that were torn into pieces. Quickly, Grimthor hauled the wounded soldier to the infirmary and lied him down on a cot. Resting himself down on the edge of the cot next to the guard he no longer was suffering from fatigue yet he was sore from carrying the guard over his shoulder. As Grimthor exited the tent he was looked around the camp looking at the mangled corpses that were once guarding the camp. He wasn't sure what caused this. He searched the camp putting a cloth over his face to keep the stench of the dead bodies out of his nose. He searched each tents finding one survivor. The soldier's armor was torn and across his chest exposing torn flesh and scratch marks across his chest. The man's eyes were wide open filled with fear. The man whispered "B-b-behind you." his voice trailed off and Grimthor turned quickly around seeing a large beast. It swung it's large claws against Grimthor ripping through his armor sending him backwards and onto the ground. Grimthor watched as the guard the guard was torn limb from limb blood flying everywhere. The beast turned to him mouth dripping with blood it was nearly eight feet tall and had black fur with yellow glowing eyes. He ran at it with his long-sword raised swinging his blade across the beast's face. The slash did little to no damage to it. The beast responded by jumping onto Grimthor and biting right through his chain-mail neck protector and into his neck. Suddenly the re-enforcements arrived shooting arrows at long range into the body of the beast making it angry. The beast went after the men.

Grimthor lays on the ground neck bleeding he takes the last of his bandages out quickly wrapping them around his neck in an attempt to stop the bleeding. He got up limping and made his way to the nearest public medical house. He kept his helmet on making sure the 'doctors' weren't able to see the neck wound. They treated his large scratches going across his torso. He healed within two and half weeks and went out to the local blacksmith to get his armor fixed. After his armor was patched up he recovered his animal hide sleeping bag and headed out to the small town of Surna trying to forget what has recently happened to him. He plans to settle down out in the forest near the town.



___

If you want to contact me my steam username is (OCD) PREDATOR







Last edited by bd863 on Sun Feb 10, 2013 5:21 pm; edited 3 times in total
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PhoenixRhapsody
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyThu Oct 04, 2012 2:58 pm

EDIT: Removed my vote.


Last edited by PhoenixRhapsody on Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:31 am; edited 2 times in total
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Munroe
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyThu Oct 04, 2012 3:10 pm

The bio could really benefit from some spacing. Try and separate it into paragraphs.

On the topic of the bio... well, it does what it's supposed to, but nothing beyond that. It doesn't give us any insight as to who the character is, it merely talks about his skills and where he acquired them, and a few details of his past. There are things in it that don't really make sense, either. For example, Grimthor was attacked by a werewolf, and kidnapped by an old man who was presumably that same werewolf. Not only did he make no attempt to escape, he was even allowed to venture into the woods with this complete stranger and learn the ways of lycanthropy. What were the old man's motivations, and why did Grimthor put so much trust in him?

Now, the lycanthropy... not a complete no-no, but it does give me pause, especially the way it's presented here. You say he can control it, so any time he finds himself threatened he can transform into a hulking beast. It also doesn't seem to create any internal conflict, which, frankly, should be the whole point of making a lycanthrope character.

I'll be honest, I'm strongly leaning towards a deny here, unless this receives some changes.
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Rutabega
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyThu Oct 04, 2012 5:19 pm

Munroe wrote:


Now, the lycanthropy... not a complete no-no, but it does give me pause, especially the way it's presented here. You say he can control it, so any time he finds himself threatened he can transform into a hulking beast. It also doesn't seem to create any internal conflict, which, frankly, should be the whole point of making a lycanthrope character.

I'll be honest, I'm strongly leaning towards a deny here, unless this receives some changes.

I'm not even sure it is possible to control your change cycle. It should also be noted that under Sanctimonian common law it's punishable by death just for beyong a lycanthrope and there's already been one or two that've been publically executed inserver by the authorities.
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PhoenixRhapsody
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyFri Oct 05, 2012 2:40 am

Rutabega wrote:
Munroe wrote:


Now, the lycanthropy... not a complete no-no, but it does give me pause, especially the way it's presented here. You say he can control it, so any time he finds himself threatened he can transform into a hulking beast. It also doesn't seem to create any internal conflict, which, frankly, should be the whole point of making a lycanthrope character.

I'll be honest, I'm strongly leaning towards a deny here, unless this receives some changes.

I'm not even sure it is possible to control your change cycle. It should also be noted that under Sanctimonian common law it's punishable by death just for beyong a lycanthrope and there's already been one or two that've been publically executed inserver by the authorities.

Being*

As for the lycanthropy, expect the Watch to be on you like moths to the flame. Also, expect no mercy if someone finds out you are a lycan, as they are pretty quickly terminated.
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BooM
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyFri Oct 05, 2012 4:22 am

Rutabega wrote:
Munroe wrote:


Now, the lycanthropy... not a complete no-no, but it does give me pause, especially the way it's presented here. You say he can control it, so any time he finds himself threatened he can transform into a hulking beast. It also doesn't seem to create any internal conflict, which, frankly, should be the whole point of making a lycanthrope character.

I'll be honest, I'm strongly leaning towards a deny here, unless this receives some changes.

I'm not even sure it is possible to control your change cycle. It should also be noted that under Sanctimonian common law it's punishable by death just for beyong a lycanthrope and there's already been one or two that've been publically executed inserver by the authorities.

'Thropes can change at will with years of practice. It soon dulls out most of the pain and the abilities of a Lycan are more dominate, creating a stronger lycan.

Quote :
There are some, however, who embrace the change, the power that comes with being a Werewolf. These Lycanthropes enjoy the Hunt, and change as often as they can, becoming more powerful as a result. With each transformation the change becomes easier, the pain more manageable, allowing them to retain their human minds as a result. This consciousness makes the willing Lycan a far more dangerous opponent, exercising cunning over brute force.

Quote :
Although werewolves can transform at will, the pain involved leads most werewolves to avoid the transformation.
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PhoenixRhapsody
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyFri Oct 05, 2012 6:31 am



I am withdrawing my previous vote entirely. I am not going to take part in approval or denial any more. I will only put in things that need fixing.
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bd863
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyFri Oct 05, 2012 7:11 am

In reply Munroe: I'm going to change around the story a bit and yes use paragraphs.

In reply to Rutabega: I'm well aware of that.

Phoenix: Yeah, I'd assume they'd have to figure out if you are or aren't first though I doubt they'd just know


I'm changing the story up a bit to make a bit more sense
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bd863
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyFri Oct 05, 2012 11:54 am

Story has been revised and certain things have been updated.
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Munroe
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyFri Oct 05, 2012 12:02 pm

I'm liking the new biography, good job on that. I'm still not sure about him being able to control his lycanthropy, though. I'll say pending for now.
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noodle
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptySat Oct 06, 2012 1:40 pm

bd863 wrote:
(Can only 'transform' when angered)
HULK-SMASH!

Extremely nice bio, doesn't seem terribly overpowered. There are some things also that trigger the change,

1) A full moon. The Selenium that the moon is made of is cursed by Selas to cause all lycans to change violently, and painfully.
2) The divine magic of Selas. Any follower of Selas casts a spell of pure moonlight that would cause a lycan to change.
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptySat Oct 06, 2012 3:18 pm

noodle wrote:
bd863 wrote:
(Can only 'transform' when angered)
HULK-SMASH!

Extremely nice bio, doesn't seem terribly overpowered. There are some things also that trigger the change,

1) A full moon. The Selenium that the moon is made of is cursed by Selas to cause all lycans to change violently, and painfully.
2) The divine magic of Selas. Any follower of Selas casts a spell of pure moonlight that would cause a lycan to change.

I've removed that part, I just added what was in the parenthesis so he'd have more of a reason when he 'transformed' instead of being able to do it at will/whenever he wanted to to nerf him in a sort of way


Updated.
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bd863
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyMon Oct 15, 2012 12:40 am

*bump* It's been a few weeks so I figured I should bump it
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Dominator046
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyMon Oct 15, 2012 4:42 am

bd863 wrote:
*bump* It's been a few weeks so I figured I should bump it

I'll give him a pending status, I haven't seen how you play him, and I think that will be the deciding factor in my accept or deny of this character. Lycanthropes are pretty serious business, and if they're found out, they're quickly dealt with; that's the risk you have to take. Just as well, we have a dozen sell swords and melee fighters; you need to be sure you can set yourself apart from them, while still being viable and not participating in a perpetual one-up contest (at least not constantly and in every moment). This shouldn't be an issue, but I am just saying this because I haven't seen you play.

Just as well, you haven't fixed the lycantrhope transformation issue in the beginning of your biography, at least as I see it. You would not have complete control over it at this stage in the lycanthropy. You would need time, and training, and even then it'd be very prodigal. Change the Lycanthropy ability to reflect that, and I'll further see this as a viable character.
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bd863
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptySun Feb 03, 2013 1:08 pm

*bump*

Playing this character so you can all get a better insight on him
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptySun Feb 03, 2013 1:46 pm

I'll wait until I see how you play him.

I am also of the opinion that he shouldn't be able to control his transformation yet.
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptySun Feb 03, 2013 2:49 pm

Spadge wrote:
I'll wait until I see how you play him.

I am also of the opinion that he shouldn't be able to control his transformation yet.

Alright, could you give me insight of how it should work?
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptySun Feb 03, 2013 4:15 pm

bd863 wrote:
Spadge wrote:
I'll wait until I see how you play him.

I am also of the opinion that he shouldn't be able to control his transformation yet.

Alright, could you give me insight of how it should work?

After reading the lore page on lycanthropes, I can see I was mistaken on some points. You CAN transform at will, even as a new werewolf. However. The transformation process is so exceedingly painful that you will almost certainly be driven to utter madness with no conscience remaining, until you revert to human form.

It's important to note, that if you're found out as a 'thrope, your life is pretty much at an end. The Law will find you, and it will execute you with extreme prejudice. I don't think that can be stressed enough, seeing as Idon'tknowhowmany Were-whatevers have been executed thus-far in-character.

In short. The transformation is not instant, and you WILL lose your humanity during the process. If you're found to be a thrope, you will be executed.

I'll change my pending to an accept. Because even if this character were to be abused, it wouldn't be for long.

Plus there's always the useful if unsightly sorcery of retcon.
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyWed Feb 06, 2013 8:38 am

I'm going to accept as well, seeing as how lycanthopy is rarely RP'd because IC you would be killed on sight. Make sure to like, start ripping shit up when you transform, k?kay.
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyFri Feb 08, 2013 12:26 am

Spadge wrote:


It's important to note, that if you're found out as a 'thrope, your life is pretty much at an end. The Law I will find you, and it I will execute you with extreme prejudice. I don't think that can be stressed enough, seeing as Idon'tknowhowmany Were-whatevers have been executed thus-far in-character.


I've killed two. I'd love to make it a hat-trick. That's three or more goals in a single game for all you hosers.

On that note, I'll accept, though that may change depending on how the lycanthrope part is handled inserver.
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyFri Feb 08, 2013 5:21 am

Might bring my lycanthrope back if this guy passes.
Don't see how he won't with another accept.
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyMon Feb 11, 2013 3:04 pm

this guys great to rp with, GOOD SHIT
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptyMon Feb 11, 2013 4:08 pm

Well, this guy got accepted, someone should move it
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bd863
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptySat May 04, 2013 2:03 pm

RIP 5-3-13
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noodle
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PostSubject: Re: Grimthor Stormwrath   Grimthor Stormwrath EmptySat May 04, 2013 2:21 pm

He died a cruel and unusual death.
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