HomeFAQRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Not gonna finish: DELETE THIS

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
wizered153
Dedicated Poster
avatar

Posts : 123
Join date : 2012-05-22
Age : 102
Location : Fort Kick Ass

PostSubject: Not gonna finish: DELETE THIS   Fri Sep 21, 2012 2:01 pm

I know I'm probably not gonna finish this, so I'm giving up on it.


Last edited by wizered153 on Tue Sep 25, 2012 9:55 am; edited 3 times in total
Back to top Go down
Blitz
Vengaboy
avatar

Posts : 299
Join date : 2012-04-07

PostSubject: Re: Not gonna finish: DELETE THIS   Fri Sep 21, 2012 2:15 pm

why do you keep doing this

http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
http://aeriaroleplay.forumotion.com/t187-that-one-guide-that-nobody-reads
Back to top Go down
Kain
Vengaboy
avatar

Posts : 256
Join date : 2012-02-04

PostSubject: Re: Not gonna finish: DELETE THIS   Fri Sep 21, 2012 2:19 pm

blitz
this is one of those rare moments when i love you
Back to top Go down
BooM
Archmage
avatar

Posts : 629
Join date : 2012-02-22
Age : 22
Location : Paradise City, Florida

PostSubject: Re: Not gonna finish: DELETE THIS   Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:00 pm

I'd like to point out "true" tieflings are not a race, nor subrace. Being "true" is just what some tieflings go by for their physical appearance. I suggest working on this and reading that guide so you can make a more detailed one.
Back to top Go down
Foshizzle
Scrub
avatar

Posts : 38
Join date : 2012-04-05
Location : Bel Air

PostSubject: Re: Not gonna finish: DELETE THIS   Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:29 pm

Kain wrote:
blitz
this is one of those rare moments when i love you
Back to top Go down
Black Banana Party
Giant Scrub
avatar

Posts : 63
Join date : 2012-08-31

PostSubject: Re: Not gonna finish: DELETE THIS   Sat Sep 22, 2012 1:08 am

This gave me diabetes...


On a serious note though, I think there's a few things you could do to improve this. First of all, you're going to need to go a lot deeper into your character. So far your backstory looks like something I'd brainstorm for about 45 minutes to get a rough sketch of what happens. There's so many blanks you're going to have to fill in, I could write en essay to tell you about all of them. I apologize if this seems hostile, but it's not intended to be hostile in the least.

Secondly, you don't quite explain how your character really came to be.. Basically all you said was, "He's born, he's hated, he went to Surna." That would be the TL:DR of this, where some peoples TL:DR is about the size of this entire page. I think that you should think of your backstory as more of a biography than anything. Some biographies are books long, others are a bit shorter. My rec would be to go check out some other pages and take a look on how they go about making their pages. Some are really detailed, take Krug's page for example. I really enjoyed reading it because A. It's a good read because all the pieces fit together. B. There's enough detail to answer 90% of the questions I'm asking about her character. For this it doesn't really explain how he came to meet the guy that sold him the sword, how he came to arrive in Surna, and what exactly happened to drive him here. He could've gone anywhere if he wanted to accomplish his goals, but why come to a small town like Surna rather than somewhere like New Imperia or somewhere in the East-marches? Again, this is meant for constructive criticism. not just playing 'bash this kid's page' here as a sick joke. I hope you take the time to read this and follow my suggestions, the character has the potential, we just need to see it drawn out a little more.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Not gonna finish: DELETE THIS   

Back to top Go down
 
Not gonna finish: DELETE THIS
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Im gonna be absent... again -_-
» Drunk last night, drunk the night before, gonna get drunk tonight like I never got drunk before.
» How do I delete an old account?
» Gonna need stitches....(Open)DONE, FINISHED, CAPUT!!!
» Gonna Get Shit-Faced! :D

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: Denied-
Jump to: