Craw Sadow (The Warded Man)

A small note on lore, there probably wouldn't be any temples of Aten in any of the nation-states of Occitan, given it's not practiced enough. There could be small minorities that don't worship the Saints, but a temple is perhaps too much.

And he seems to have quite an odd name given he's from Occitan, where the naming conventions are usually very uniformely German - or Occitanian, really. :V

Sadow is the name of a Sith Lord from Star Wars, Naga Sadow. Not sure if that was intentional or not, but just thought I'd mention it.

Actually it was intentional, I heard naga, and im like hmm and then I made it lol

Well, like Krug said, Occitanian names are almost all German. Or French. Maybe a few names have crossed cultural borders, but 'Craw Sadow'...

Furthermore, humans worshiping Aten, beyond the few devoted, scattered cults that every deity has, is mostly restricted to Mukhamism, the primary religion of the Sidan Desert. Any 'Atenic' influences would usually be linked to the Sidans.

If I understand, religious and cultural freedom in Occitan has increased(outside of Vinberg) since the fall of the Kaiser. So maybe there could be one temple, in a major city, if there's been an influx of Sidan immigrants and traders to Occitan.

Like I tell everyone else who applies for magic, you need to be specific in what your character is capable of. Magic is very powerful and very easily abused, so unlike other skills where a simple sentence is needed, I find magic-related skills and powers acceptable when they have at least two sentences giving a range in the sort of spells the character in question is capable of. When a character's magical powers are ambiguous, arguments most always follow.

It's also helpful when the magic is separated from all the other skills so we clearly know that it's something important to catch our eye as the character is reviewed. You can also go above and beyond all expectations and list each individual spell and what they all do. In Aeria, magic is not as organised as, say, Forgotten Realms, where every spell has a name and can easily be identified, but sometimes a spellcaster will like to do so for their own range of magic. It's also eye-candy.


also

Quote :

Courage: Craw is very couragous and won't be phased by many things that stand in his path.

In my opinion, this is not a 'skill'. It is, very often, a massive flaw in one's story-telling abilities where a character rarely responds to anything like a dynamic, relatable character would. Being brave is not going "I'm far too badass to care about that." Being brave is doing something you're afraid to do. Make no mistake, I'm not accusing you of anything, nor am I saying you're a bad story-teller. I'm just saying this might be a character trait you should reconsider, especially for a character so young. Last time I checked, fear was mankind's oldest and most primal emotion.

Spoiler:

Fixed the problems. Thanks for the help Psyche, if there's anything else wrong with this just feel free to post it. I have intentions of making a very good character app :)

I'd be willing to offer this an approval, I just have to wait for a higher authority to approve the validity of the wards and such. Good detail on the spells though, and a nice page :3. You also responded to changes very well, which is always appreciated.

Pending for now. Let's have some more community opinions, please?

I think my page is completed now, I changed my boring old biography to a more exciting new one that is actually organized. Hope you like it.

Iordcharlo wrote:

780 MoP-785 MoP
Over the years, Craw began to find new ways to protect himself from the creatures of the dessert.

The deliciousness is overwhelming!

On a more serious note, I'm happy to see how nicely you've shaped the page up. If I understood correctly, he can't use any other spell but the ones tattooed on him? And he's pretty much tattooed full? And what about the spell shield? Can it absorb only spells that consist of energy (fireball, lightning, arcane bolts) or can it also absorb conjured physical objects (solid ice, boulders, crystals)? And what about enchanted weapons?

Tasty indeed, anyways I fixed the problems. But I won't make you read it again, Craw can weave normal spells, but he uses wards for faster casting and weaves based off the wards. He simply selects the spell he wishes to cast and uses the wards to cast it. (Although he still has to weave it) And the warded items repel demons/creatures easier.. It's basicly more powerful against them.

I'm confused now. So, he can create wards as well as cast spells by weaving? Wards, to my understanding, are usually spells used to provide protection against something, such as warding against demons, ghosts, bunnies, everything in between and so forth.
Perhaps you mean seals which are used to cast spells in an automatic process, although these spells are typically not as powerful or flexible as traditionally woven spells?

Now, if he can create wards, what kind of wards could he create? Does he specialize in a particular type of warding? And if he can weave in a traditional manner, what is the extent his woven spells go?

I don't know, I thought it would be cool to have wards. Perhaps I'll just make them weaving spells. The wards will be for protection then.

Good thing they aren't my spell tattoos, or they'd be OP as fuck

Gambit wrote:

Good thing they aren't my spell tattoos, or they'd be OP as fuck

I don't see the difference between spell tattoos and these wards.

edit; this isn't really a criticism, mind

Spell tattoos are a million times rarer, plus depending on what you've got going for you in terms of ability you have near instant cool downs and a petty bodily taxation.

Spell tattoos make complete sense and ensure balanced role-play

I still don't see the difference.

Oh, well if the wards are solely for protection then that makes this whole thing a lot easier.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME! No but seriously, am I supposed to edit it or what? I'm completely confused now. Some say it's too OP, some say it's fine. What's going on and what is expected of me at the time? I talked it over with Xeloras and he says it would be spell tattoos that cast temporary protection wards. I honestly don't see how it is OP seeing that it is so simple and it's basicly my only feat.

Okay, I've come to a conclusion. They are spell tattoos (Meaning they have traces of gold in them) and they are watered down spell effects. Their sole purpose is for defense but I will be adding an area effect that is an extreme willpower consumer. It will probably for last resorts, because it will make my character weak and fatigued. Anyways, I removed all of my weaving spells because my character has no training in any schools of magic. I am still deciding what the area effect will be. (I will update this comment later and say what it is) Anyways, wards are instant casts because they are activated by my will. I will try to balance out my spells and keep them from becoming OP. I am fully aware of the fact that I can't use these to become invinsible or do anything of that sort. If there are any concerns please post them! Thanks for the help I'll keep working at my character.

Well okay.

We can always retcon it if it goes wrong.

Krug wrote:

Well okay.

We can always retcon it if it goes wrong.

Moved.

Thanks guys, let me know if you catch anything else.