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 Demetrious 'D' Klark

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Miharu
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PostSubject: Demetrious 'D' Klark   Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:05 am




Full Name: Demetrious Klark.
Nickname(s): D.
Gender: Male.
Age: 39.
Race: Human.
Languages: Common, Demonic.
Birthplace: Presumably somewhere in southern Sanctimonia.
Occupation: Bounty hunter.



Hair Color: Black.
Hair Style: Long, unkempt.
Eye Color: Light blue.
Skin Tone: Pale.
Height: 1,84 metres.
Weight: 83 kilogrammes.
Body Type: A fit, but not muscular mesomorph.
Distinguishing Features: Tattoos of odd shapes, discolouration and brightness of eyes.



Alignment: Neutral good.
Deity: Aten, God of purity, purification by fire and the Sun.



Biography:
 



Skills:
 



Spells:
 



Equipment:
 


*Things are subject to change if I forgot something or need to edit some things in or out, but this is how the character sheet will look in general.


Last edited by Miharu on Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:50 am; edited 9 times in total
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Miharu
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PostSubject: Re: Demetrious 'D' Klark   Wed Apr 11, 2012 9:59 am

I think I'm done now. And yes, the biography is supposed to sound like it's exaggerating and dramatic.
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Miharu
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PostSubject: Re: Demetrious 'D' Klark   Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:57 pm

I'd really appreciate some feedback here guys :(, whether bad or good.
It could be that the forum is slower than I believed it to be, but still.
Thanks!
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Markka
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PostSubject: Re: Demetrious 'D' Klark   Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:21 pm

For one thing, huge backstory is huge. Seems that quite a bit of effort went into him, but I'm a tad apprehensive of this. While he's very specialized, he still seems extremely powerful to begin with. None of his abilities/skills are likely under an adept level and his staff is pimped to the max.
Cordonium and Lucium, I believe, are supposedly very rare and thus extremely expensive. It's unlikely he'd just find it off a dead foe unless their pavement was made of diamonds or something.
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PostSubject: Re: Demetrious 'D' Klark   Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:34 am

I'm hesitant about the amount of cordonium, because of both their properties and cost. And I also worry that his skills are very high, what with 9/10 and 8/10 being the sort of values you'd see on a special character's page.

Then again, he is a good guy at heart, and the page is disgustingly good.

Quote :
Staff of the Widowmaker:
By far the most valuable item in Demetrious' possession. This staff has several bars and crystals of cordonium attached to it. The staff itself is made out of hardened acacia wood. On the other end of the staff, is a spear that would almost look like the end of a short sword due to its rather unique shape. It's crafted from a fine titanium steel metal, the edges luminescent -- they're covered in lucium. This staff was taken off of a fallen foe several years ago, the name has never changed. It has been customized for D's use.

Off the top of my head, I think you could consider removing the blade on his staff given his power in magic is supposed to be balanced by his shortcomings in melee.

I'm holding off on any approval for now, to see what more of the community thinks. But- a bloody nice job on the character all the same. :O
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Miharu
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PostSubject: Re: Demetrious 'D' Klark   Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:22 am

I really don't plan on playing him overpowered and I trust myself to roleplay him responsibly, not a tank.
But I'll lower the skills, I have a lot of problems when it comes to gauging these things in applications, to be quite honest those "bars" are more for appeasing to the reader instead of actually display what the level of my character is at.
I understood that extremely impure cordonium is quite easy and very cheap to to acquire (correct me if I'm wrong), the cordonium on his body is not used to store any sort of magical energy, it's just an exit node for one or two of his spells (when he pushes "light" out of himself, he does it through the cordonium). That's why I thought it'd make sense if I had one "valuable" or "unique" item such as the staff that I wanted to use, because thinking logically, someone that risks their life for a living would have more funds to purchase or modify weapons than your typical trader or guardsman. I was running on the understanding that everything on me is more or less worthless, since the cordonium has no practical use outside of being "the end of a barrel" in my spellcasting, so I decided to stabilize the idea that he lives in poverty with that staff. I don't understand how certain characters start out with having sets of armour, which I assume would be more costly than this.
I don't have a problem changing it if it's an issue. Like I said, I trust myself to roleplay his capabilities responsibly, even if you don't :P.
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Munroe
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PostSubject: Re: Demetrious 'D' Klark   Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:56 am

Miharu wrote:
I understood that extremely impure cordonium is quite easy and very cheap to to acquire (correct me if I'm wrong), the cordonium on his body is not used to store any sort of magical energy

The lore on Cordonium can be found here. Cordonium's primary use is to store magical energy, and that's pretty much all it can do. Using Cordonium to "push spells out of himself" is like using a battery as a transformer. If you want something to be able to transmit magic, look to one of the magical metals. Also note that Cordonium is extremely rare, which would make even impure crystals difficult for a poor person to acquire.

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Miharu
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PostSubject: Re: Demetrious 'D' Klark   Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:10 am

Munroe wrote:
The lore on Cordonium can be found here. Cordonium's primary use is to store magical energy, and that's pretty much all it can do. Using Cordonium to "push spells out of himself" is like using a battery as a transformer. If you want something to be able to transmit magic, look to one of the magical metals. Also note that Cordonium is extremely rare, which would make even impure crystals difficult for a poor person to acquire.

Alright, thanks for your input.
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PostSubject: Re: Demetrious 'D' Klark   Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:14 am

It is with deep regret I move this character to failed, as per request.
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